possessum: (whispering to us from the branches)
ᴘᴇᴛᴇʀ ɢʀᴀʜᴀᴍ 👑 ᴋɪɴɢ ᴘᴀɪᴍᴏɴ ([personal profile] possessum) wrote in [personal profile] creidim 2022-03-13 07:13 pm (UTC)

"unnecessarily long" is the only mood, here comes the Demon Introspection

( 'I know you've been very sorry about what happened.'

She knows. He doesn't even have to say it — and, usually, would be struggling very hard to say any of this. Right now, with this clear mind and state, he's able to convey it very well, but... she already knows. And again, it clarifies his degree of trust with and from his witch. Paimon is somber, quietly awed by all of it. His bond with her has become something so precious in new forms. Initially, it was precious in a practical way — she tethered herself to him for Peter's sake, and Paimon wanted her tethered because she was a witch, something very important to his existence.

But over time.... yes, he has formed a different sort of bond with the girl. He enjoys her. As someone to learn from and someone to care for him, but also as someone to spend time with. He enjoys her company, her energy; he's at ease when she's nearby, and misses her when she isn't. He wants to please her, not only for those practical reasons — give and take, exchange — but also because he truly does care about Luna. Perhaps this is part of how he's meant to be with his most intimate summoners. It's a businesslike thing, but it's also something deeper, spiritual. He's meant to take care of her as much in return.

And their relationship has been made even deeper due to his existence within Peter. Because of that, Paimon's able to live in the same household as Luna, to be a part of her daily existence, to touch and be touched by her in a corporeal way. If he wasn't trapped in a vessel, he wouldn't be able to do those things. But he is, and he... likes it. He wants to stay, as unnatural as that concept might be to what he truly is. But he feels.... happy here, with her. He's glad he's able to tell her that he wants to stay with her for always.

Maul is certainly a complicated matter, and he's continuing to listen about that, giving severe nods to show he understands. 'You are allowed to walk away'; hearing it stated so explicitly makes him think deeply about it. It's true that he's relied on Maul as a sort of Master, despite knowing that he isn't. But he'd filled in a certain empty place for Paimon, a certain longing for Lucifer, and perhaps there was a part of the lost demon king who was leaning on that too much, so easily wanting to please him and listen to him. But for all that he could teach and guide him, Maul is not his Master, and he is not a witch or conjurer. He is... a comrade. A companion — something that might even be called a "friend". Paimon could choose to walk away; he does not have to obey Maul.

He still grapples with what it means to be able to choose something. With... how to do it. There isn't much that Paimon's really chosen for himself, though this place has allowed him to begin toeing into that concept. He's able to go visit people he wishes to see, he was able to even choose an employment for himself..........

So it's happening, slowly, but it's still... rather foreign for him. Even working at the Mage's Bakery was the result of wanting to please and assist Lysithea, as well as Luna with her sweet tooth. The things he's chosen have still been meant to please and even serve others.

'I do promise I'll always do my best for you. To always try to give you purpose and help you in whatever way I can. You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.'

Paimon sits there in his wide-eyed quiet, reeling in all of it, that warmed, strangely shy feeling simply growing at her words, feeling the sheer weight of them; his eyes spark with that shimmering sort of glow he often looks to Luna with. Always. They've both used the word always, and he feels the Bond he shares with her in his spirit, something lasting and powerful and safe.

Sometimes, there's a thought. A quiet ghost within him, some phantom whisper brushing like delicate filigree carved into his spirit — Who's gonna take care of me?

The thought never lasts long, because now he knows who will.

The demon looks up to Luna as she touches his ear and clarifies what he'd been thinking; the same thing happens to Peter. That it's a bodily reaction, something that happens to this body, and he knows he has made it happen because he is locked into this body right now.

But— )


I said 'my body', but... that is false. It is not my body. It is only my home. ( He knows that the correct terms are important to use, especially around Luna, and for a moment, he forgot himself with them; he almost seems apologetic towards her for it. Sometimes, it's too easy to get wrapped up in Peter, the warmth of him, his human skin. How it feels to be a human, and to touch and be touched. But the touch does not belong to him. He experiences it through his vessel.

And normally, he'd leave it at that — pure fact, not adding his own opinions or feelings to it. But now....? The demon's mouth opens again, and his words have a a clear melancholy as he looks down to his lap, fingers moving to brush against the material of Peter's lounge pants, soft and comfortable but not his. Nothing of Peter's wardrobe is his. He wears his host's clothes like a guest; always borrowed. )


I do not have a body. The ears buzzing... the clothing.... it is not mine.

( He's come to enjoy what being in a host allows him to do, but there are still parts to the demon that understands what's lacking, and sometimes.... it does make him melancholy. Perhaps he's only recently really able to see that, and perhaps now, freed of certain mental constraints and able to express himself better, it's able to come out the way it does. )

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