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[creidim]

the arms of the ocean are carrying me
the arms of the ocean delivered me

[ text | voice | omen | action ]

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Accidental video; un: darkness CW: child abuse mental and physical, gaslighting, victim blaming

[survivalthroughhate]

[The infection his Omni and Omen still have coursing through them are sending out random memories to different people. Luna will receive one from him against his will.

The memory shows Maul, maybe slightly older than when Luna had met him as a child here in Trench, sitting not on a bed but on a mere pallet on the ground. There's no sheets or pillow, only a ragged blanket. He's crying softly, holding his right wrist close to him. The unnatural angle at which it limply hangs shows it's clearly broken.

Sidious enters and Maul immediately stops crying, scrubbing at his eyes to hide the tear tracks. He knows if his master sees him sobbing like that, he'll give him something worth crying about. He braces himself, waiting for Sidious' cruelty. But this time he's not the monster. No, in this case it's almost worse, because Sidious has put on the persona of the kindly master who only wants the best for his charge.

"Oh, my poor boy. Let me take a look at your wrist," he says sympathetically. Maul tentatively holds it out, unable to keep from shaking a little, again waiting for the other shoe to drop. But Sidious is smart enough to know when to punish his ward and when to string him along with false hope. Right now is the latter. Sidious looks at it with false sympathy, clucking his tongue like he honestly cares about Maul's welfare. "Do you understand why I had to do this?"

Maul thinks very carefully for a moment. The wrong answer could make Sidious switch back to his usual monstrous ways, so he has to get it right on the first try. He makes an educated guess. "Because I wasn't strong enough?"

"Yes. If you were able to do as you were told, I wouldn't have to punish you so." Maul shrinks in on himself at the words. This is his fault. If he was stronger, faster, smarter, just better in general, his master might finally love him the way he yearns for. Sidious rests a hand on top of his head between the crown of horns, a gesture both paternal and demeaning at the same time. "It's alright. You are strong and you will survive." He doesn't say the words with kindness, more like a tone that this is just something that is a fact, like the sky is blue or water is wet. From the shining look on Maul's face, he's taken them to heart just as his master wanted him to. "Come on now. We'll fix up that wrist with bacta and then you'll feel much better." Maul struggles to his feet and follows Sidious out of the room, staring at his master with undisguised adoration. The Sith Lord has him hook, line, ad sinker.

The memory fades out there as Sidious leads him to the med bay.]

god, i'm sorry it took me so long to get to this

[creidim]

[ There's no real understanding as to what's going on, to why she's seeing this. But the memory plays anyway, and she's quiet and still as she watches. She recogises the child, remembers how he'd been with her when they'd interacted back at the start of the year. The initial scene leaves her with a bitter taste in her mouth as he cradles his wrist, she doesn't like where this is going.

And it becomes clear: this is his Master. He was the one who did this. A punishment—? Luna inhales sharply, her expression grim. That is no punishment for a child. The actions, the manipulation, is horrifying. Luna has felt anger towards Maul, after what happened to Willow she could perhaps consider it hatred — but here she feels anger on his behalf, towards this vile creature of a caretaker.

For a long time afterwards, she just sits there, shaking with that outrage — but otherwise calm. She's not sure what to do. It would be dishonest to say nothing. She's seen something so intimate, so horrible. She doubts he'll take the revelation well. Perhaps it better to text him — offering the space of it over something more direct: ]

Maul. I've been sent a transmission, a memory of your childhood. [ She lets that there for a good few minutes before she adds: ]

No child should be punished like that. That wasn't love, nor care. [ And yet she couldn't mistake the look of adoration on young Maul's face. She remembers how he'd been with her, pleased with praise, awed by Moon Presence. ] You were a good child, and he did you wrong.

No worries!

[survivalthroughhate]

[When Maul receives the first message, he screams out in rage so loud it echoes off the walls of his ship where he's been hiding out for most of the month. But the horse has left the barn, so it's no use closing the doors. He asks Venge to bring up which memory was sent out so he knows just what she's referring to. And--

Oh no.

Of everything that was in his past, Luna had to see that. He bites down on his tattooed lower lip, trying to figure out what the hell to say as her next message comes in. There's a long pause as the hours go by before he finally responds.]

Now you know how someone can be turned into a monster over the course of many years. Evil is not born most of the time. It is created. I wasn't always as I am now. He deliberately turned me into his own personal assassin after I came into his care as a small child.