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[creidim]

the arms of the ocean are carrying me
the arms of the ocean delivered me

[ text | voice | omen | action ]

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all of the feels....

[creidim]

[ There's a kind of relief at how seriously he listens to her regarding Maul, the severe nods at her words. Of course she's still going to worry about him, about what might happen. But she's done all she can do. She can advise him, but the choice is left to him. Even if it might have been easier just to ban any interaction between him and Maul all together, she's going to allow Paimon to make his own choices here. She's sure he'll be able to do that; he knows to be careful, he knows to consider — and to ask if he isn't sure.

That's all she can do, and just hope things will be alright. And hopefully she might not have to step in. She does genuinely want the best for him, at the end of the day. Luna perhaps didn't realise how difficult it would be, but she's trying.

Perhaps once she might have been a little more fierce in her insistence that this body isn't his, that it belongs to Peter. She's certainly been like that before, when he was feeding his blood to Lucifer — or how she'd referred to him as a guest, when they'd made their bond. But now—? It seems like so long ago now. Now, Luna doesn't feel any sting of annoyance or defensiveness; it's more the sobering feeling of pity for the demon. The more time she's spent with Paimon, that she's gotten to know him — the more that pity for him has bloomed. She does feel sorry for him, now more than ever — she does care for him.

The fact is, he's in much an unfortunate circumstance as much as Peter is. With how he's been treated by those who came before her, with his placement within a human. Existing in a way that's so strange and unnatural at times, trying to find himself once more. It hasn't been an easy road for any of them.

And with that, with sharing himself with Peter — he doesn't have anything of his own. Well, he does have some things, of course. He has his relationship with her, with others he knows. He does have his own ways in which Luna interacts with him, how she might touch him, things she might involve him with that she wouldn't Peter. These things are his, for him. But still, he shares himself with Peter. Luna inhales quietly in realisation, watching him toy with the fabric of Peter's lounge pants. ]

It would have been easier perhaps if you had a different body, one you could truly call your own. [ She's quietly spoken as she offers it, sad for him. If such a thing would have been possible; if there was a way to have a body of his own that wouldn't involved needing to share it with another. Existing outside of one isn't easy, she's seen that — even if she doesn't think too hard about that brief time they had spent together like that, with him attempting to possess her — a delicate ethereal orb of light and her trying to communicate, not being able to truly experience existence.]

But... then I suppose we would be very different. [ Would they be the same, if Paimon hadn't been in Peter? Granted there might not have been any need to bond with him, considering the circumstances of it. But perhaps she might have still felt pity for him, wanted to help some poor lost creature regardless. Even if they wouldn't be the same as they are now, she's sure of herself that she would have still tried to help Paimon if he existed outside of Peter.

She feels at a loss with that melancholy, and with the gentle melancholy of her own. She can't help him with the fact he can only share his body with Peter, that he can't have his own. Paimon has to remain in Peter. She doesn't like that feeling of helplessness, her brow furrowing for a long moment. But even if she can't help with that, there is perhaps something she could help with. Her head tilts the side for a moment, in thought. ]

... Would it help if you didn't dress like Peter, when you're in control—? [ She remembers back at the Anniversary Ball in Deerington, how he'd been dressed. It had been... very not-Peter. Perhaps something more suited for a demon king: the gold, the soft tinkling sounds as he walked. Shirtlessness aside, he'd been far more comfortable and confident in himself. Proud, even. ] If we when out and bought you some clothes of your own?

[ Maybe... maybe that would help. Something of his own to distinguish himself from Peter. She knows sometimes the shifts between them can come without warning, like now. Or sometimes Paimon takes control when Peter can't manage — it's not always practical for a wardrobe change in those times. But perhaps on the days when he's scheduled to be with her, the days they spend together — that would be a good time he could wear his own clothes instead of Peter's.

A slow smile spreads across her lips, quite pleased with the idea. This might be quite good, actually. It might help him feel better. Trying to do her best to help him, in whatever way she can. She carefully reaches across for his hands, holds them both in her own. ]

Why don't we do that? We can go to Willful Machine and find you some things to wear, things you could pick out for yourself. You could wear them on our days together. [ Admittedly, the idea on going on a little shopping trip sounds quite fun. He might usually come help with the shopping (she adores Peter, but she knows fine well he's a lazy teenage boy who loathes chores most of the time), but going out to do something like this for Paimon is quite exciting. ]

We could get you a nice cloak, like one of mine. And some other things, whatever you like—! [ She might... try and advise him on some things, however. Luna thinks there's... a bit of practicality needed concerning fashion in Trench, despite how lovely the Pleasure citizens look in their bright colours. But she's sure they can compromise. She squeezes his hands gently, still smiling. ] Would you like that?

possibly wrap! ♥

[possessum]

( This isn't something he's really talked about, before. For the past few years since his existence within this host began, it's been a challenge; first, the need to make sure he stayed, to keep hold of his existence within Peter after being whisked away to the strange rules of the Dream. To not be removed, or threatened to be removed. For awhile, the goal was to take this body as his own, but then of course it shifted, and the challenge was keeping Peter's spirit, for her. Since then, the challenges have persisted: the shifts that Deerington and Trench draw from them in their unsteady state, the constant displacement within each other, the physical and emotional turmoil.

But Trench has offered.... a certain stability. Over time, Paimon really has been able to begin forming some kind of life for himself, here. To desire certain things, to have his own place here. It's... hard. Listening to Luna reflect on it now, what it would have been like if he had his own body, the demon is melancholy in his own reflection of it, gazing down at Peter's hands, the shape of them. )

Yes. If I had my own body.... I could be more.

( He's pretty much accepted that he has to be trapped within a human, and certainly he prefers this to being lost the way he was when Peter died back in Deerington. But if it was a body without a separate spirit, one he didn't have to share with....

....'But... then I suppose we would be very different.'

He looks back up at Luna, dark eyes studying her silently. ...She's right; he can see that, too. He probably wouldn't have his Bond with her, wouldn't live with her like this. Peter is the means through which Paimon was able to form the relationship he does with Luna. )

You are right. We would not be the same.

( He nods quietly, though that melancholy still stays with him. All of it is.... difficult, for all of them. It's a strange existence they all share with one another. Now that he's becoming more aware of what's lacking and actually able to talk about it, it's.... hard. But he pauses at what Luna says next, attentive to the concept she's presenting. If he didn't... dress like Peter, when he was in control.

Finding ways to establish his own identity has been its own journey, and there have been times he and Peter butted heads about it, hard. It's only been very recently that they have their own spaces, thanks to Luna helping him set up a little crafts area, and then the movement to make the attic space his own "room", so to speak. Peter's finally stopped throwing away Paimon's things, and Paimon's stopped having to hide them in shoeboxes under the bed; now he can set them out and arrange them in the attic however he likes. It's helped, immensely.

But when it comes to his appearance.... that is trickier. He has a few items collected over time: his various crowns, a couple of garments that have been given to him by others or by this place itself. But he never wears them, except on rare occasions when he is by himself. When he's out and about, he just.... looks like Peter.

The idea of having his own clothes....? Of shopping for them, with her? The demon's eyes widen as Luna takes his hands, staring at the way she smiles. He's actually a bit at a loss for words now, looking stunned. Whatever he likes, she says. Things he could pick out, garments to adorn himself in. He hasn't forgotten the party from before, the way he'd felt so comfortable with his physical appearance, a rarity. Peter's body is some strange mixture of being better for him than where he was before, but also.... not entirely right, either. But if he could decorate it? With brighter colours, with draping golds and creams, with a cloak like hers, with earrings that dangle and jewelry upon his wrists. With shoes that actually show his feet instead of covering them up in Peter's dingy "Converse"..... With glitter upon his eyelids. (His imagination is already running wild, here. This is... important, for what he is.)

'Would you like that?' )

Yes....! ( Excitement isn't easily expressed, in Paimon. But there's something to the lilt of his tone, to the way his eyes flash, how he abruptly leans in closer to her, nose practically brushing the tip of Luna's. The demon is.... intensely thrilled, energy practically bubbling in a stark contrast from how it was just moments ago. Goodbye, Peter's lounge pants. )

I would like that. I would like to do the shopping with you. And— ( His eyes widen further as he tilts closer, and now his nose does press against hers; he's.... so close.... ) —if I can wear things when my vessel is sleeping. My own things. I would be...... ( The word lingers behind him, something he's not quite accustomed to using in regards to himself. )

...happy.