is it? idk. i die a lot. which sounds hella weird to say out loud (write... out loud...??) but you know the dream so ig it probably doesn't sound as strange to you as it would to someone else
but yeah. i knew. it was a sort of... save the world kind of moment that i got yanked away from. had to play out eventually.
I think it is, yes. I died twice in the dream, so no it isn't strange. But death... it's hard to explain but it's like it touches you in a very particular way. I'm not quite sure how, but it does.
I mean, seeing death in my world meant you could see previously invisible magical creatures. And that was just seeing, not experiencing it.
when i hit numero 10, someone baked me a really cool cake. but yeah. ig you're right. it does make you... different.
yeah. i mean. it some ways i had to. it was sort of my being alive that was fucking everything up. it's a long story, but my dying was the only way to make everything right again.
I've heard of a lot of things, but baking someone a cake when after they endured ten deaths is a new one. That was quite nice of them?
[ 'Sorry you died a lot, here's a cake'—? ]
I can't imagine such a thing. Was it like some kind of magic? There's old kinds of magic you had to be really careful with in my world, otherwise things can go wrong in the world around you. [ Something for the Unspeakables to ponder. ] You could have chosen to run away, but you chose to put things right instead? That was incredibly selfless of you, and brave. Especially when death is so permanent in most worlds.
it was probably funnier in the moment, one of those hard to translate in a story kind of things
[ She and Reaper had weird senses of humor, especially given that he was. Y'know. Responsible for at least two of those deaths. It's fine, probably. ]
yeah, kinda. i called it some kind of super power but magic is probably more accurate. idk that it was selfless tho. the idea of having the death of so many people be my fault just because i didn't want to die was sort of unbearable. i knew i'd end up becoming a hella fucking nutcase if i went through with it, so i decided it was probably better to just die.
[ Okay that's bullshit, but it's bullshit she's very thoroughly convinced herself of. Coping Skills. ]
besides it was only like half my choice. max was the one with the powers. she asked my opinion, but she was the one who had to decide whether or not to put everything back the way it should be.
Oh, one of those 'you had to be there' things. Right?
Still, you could have chosen to live, regardless. Run away instead. You never really know how things could have turned out, you might have been alright with choosing to live. That's more the usual option, isn't it? Choosing to live over choosing to die.
But you chose the harder option, the thing that goes against being very human and wanting to live. Even when you might not have necessarily had to. So yes, I do think it's selfless.
I don't envy her for making a choice like that. I can't imagine how hard that must have been for her, too.
idk what's usual. not a lot of people i met had a choice in their deaths for me to ask. but yeah. it's... fucking shitty. max shouldn't have had to have that on her shoulders. exhibit #58032 why life's not fucking fair ig
No, that's fair. I know the two times I died they just kind of... came out of nowhere. It was nice she asked for your opinion, though. It was your life, after all. But yes, life is often very much not fair.
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but yeah. i knew. it was a sort of... save the world kind of moment that i got yanked away from. had to play out eventually.
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I mean, seeing death in my world meant you could see previously invisible magical creatures. And that was just seeing, not experiencing it.
You saved the world? You sacrificed yourself?
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yeah. i mean. it some ways i had to. it was sort of my being alive that was fucking everything up. it's a long story, but my dying was the only way to make everything right again.
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[ 'Sorry you died a lot, here's a cake'—? ]
I can't imagine such a thing. Was it like some kind of magic? There's old kinds of magic you had to be really careful with in my world, otherwise things can go wrong in the world around you. [ Something for the Unspeakables to ponder. ] You could have chosen to run away, but you chose to put things right instead? That was incredibly selfless of you, and brave. Especially when death is so permanent in most worlds.
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[ She and Reaper had weird senses of humor, especially given that he was. Y'know. Responsible for at least two of those deaths. It's fine, probably. ]
yeah, kinda. i called it some kind of super power but magic is probably more accurate. idk that it was selfless tho. the idea of having the death of so many people be my fault just because i didn't want to die was sort of unbearable. i knew i'd end up becoming a hella fucking nutcase if i went through with it, so i decided it was probably better to just die.
[ Okay that's bullshit, but it's bullshit she's very thoroughly convinced herself of. Coping Skills. ]
besides it was only like half my choice. max was the one with the powers. she asked my opinion, but she was the one who had to decide whether or not to put everything back the way it should be.
isn't this just so very cheery
Still, you could have chosen to live, regardless. Run away instead. You never really know how things could have turned out, you might have been alright with choosing to live. That's more the usual option, isn't it? Choosing to live over choosing to die.
But you chose the harder option, the thing that goes against being very human and wanting to live. Even when you might not have necessarily had to. So yes, I do think it's selfless.
I don't envy her for making a choice like that. I can't imagine how hard that must have been for her, too.
they're here to have a good time clearly
idk what's usual. not a lot of people i met had a choice in their deaths for me to ask. but yeah. it's... fucking shitty. max shouldn't have had to have that on her shoulders. exhibit #58032 why life's not fucking fair ig
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[ There's a brief pause before she offers: ]
The answer is 'no', by the way.