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Luna Lovegood ([personal profile] creidim) wrote2019-10-07 10:58 pm
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[personal profile] possessum 2020-02-29 06:50 pm (UTC)(link)
[ There is still much left ambiguous β€” the titles that go along with the name, the ones that would put too much in someone's hands. For now, he keeps those things to himself. But even the simple divulgence of the name itself means something. When she voices it back to him (no, not a voice, something more than that, deeper) it fills him with a hum of awareness. More of that odd quiet buzzing, as though the very energy of him is alive, and blossoming β€” opening up a bit more in response.

To give his name is a certain power to another. And to hear his name echoed back is a certain power for him.

Paimon breathes a little more easily now. Though the question gives him pause. He is afraid, but of what? Now that it's presented to him in such a clear manner, he doesn't know what to say, how to say it. He hasn't spoken to many people directly like this since being reborn in Peter. ]


Do not know.

[ ... Helpful. But... after a long bout of silence broken only by the occasional odd noise, he does manage to give some of his fears a shape. It isn't everything, but it's something. ]

Grandma.

[ Charlie had loved Grandma, had been especially close with her, and the imprint of that means Paimon does miss Ellen, in some way. ....But he also fears her, for reasons he isn't even quite sure of. It's a strange aversion, considering how deeply he's been bound to her. Even if she's gone... (River had seen to that), he's still afraid.

Luna was there when he'd last faced her β€” or some imitation of her. And it's gratefulness that he wants to express, has wanted to express, for some time now. Exchange, gift, reward: it's been waiting inside of him all this time. Now he can tell her. This young creature with ancient blood running through her veins. The gratitude pours from him to her, something warmer now, expressed more in his feelings than the strained words. ]


You have magic. You have saved me.
possessum: 𝐩π₯𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐧𝐭 𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬 πŸ‘‘ (Default)

[personal profile] possessum 2020-03-13 01:40 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Gratitude isn't even simply important for him in this moment β€” it's vital. A service deserves a reward, but the rules are different for him now. He doesn't quite understand how they work anymore, has only just begun to understand, to remember, the vaguest outline of how he's supposed to work. Paimon is still so very lost.

But he knows he must offer her something. Her, especially, someone born of magic. The gratitude that seeps from him is intense, more than it probably should be; Paimon doesn't know how to control it. What he feels and the ways he's limited β€” dulled down under layers of Peter and the effects of this place β€” is conveyed the only way it can be: through his emotions. The ones being in the right human body lets him feel, but the ones he doesn't know how to work very well.

He feels the waves of her discomfort when Ellen is mentioned; he remembers Luna's fear. Not of her, but of somethingβ€” else. Perhaps something like her. Paimon had observed this very keenly.

Still, she's trying to reassure him (or so he assumes), is conveying that she will help him again if needed. And divulging to him directly this time, that she is a witch. And he can clarify for her now that he was present the whole time β€” that they've been connected. Paimon is almost taken aback by all of these things combined, almost seeming frightened β€” but only because it overwhelms him, very briefly. He flutters, bird wings vibrating quickly, a rippling throat: gives a soft gag-sound, staggering against himself. Through all of this, though, is a sense of excitement, something that makes him return very quickly from where he'd briefly stumbled backwards. He moves forwards again, to the forefront of wherever he is β€” Peter's mind, Peter's body, the space they both occupy.

He fills it, more now than usual. Temporarily, but it makes him excitable. He feelsβ€” stronger. He feels himself pressing against Peter's mind β€” pressing into hers. ]


Yes. I am here. Whole of time.

[ He was there the "whole time"; he saw everything. He sees now, too, and repeats the word she uses, a soft, slightly wet, breathy sound. What he's telling her is important too. That he'sβ€” here. Always here. That he sees her when Peter does. ]

Aware. Whole of time.

[ He likes that he's using a new word, one she's given him. Aware. A ripple of some sort of pleasure moves through him, like amusement but not quite that β€” the essence of how a smile feels, maybe. ]
Edited 2020-03-13 13:42 (UTC)
possessum: 𝐩π₯𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐧𝐭 𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬 πŸ‘‘ (β†’ 1371)

[personal profile] possessum 2020-03-30 10:06 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Of all of the things Paimon is, he is also aβ€” sensitive thing. There's a certain detachment towards others, towards humankind, by default; and yet among his kind, Paimon in particular is capable of a sort of attachment. He is the only one of his brothers to require an offering in order to be summoned in the first place. That gesture is one that deepens the bond between himself and whomever is at the opposite end. Hands must extend an offering, and he must reach to accept; contact is made.

He is sensitive. To energy, to will and desire, to the nuances of human strength and weakness. He must be, in order to provide for them what he does. Though he's lost much of himself, diluted and watered down and now confined to certain human limitations in this place, he still... feels more than any normal human can. It's there β€” his sensitivity, prickling like a living thing.

Her overloaded emotional state as a result of his own bursts in him, a spark of illumination. And whereas he was overwhelmed by everything moments before, he is learning, and very quickly, that this is okay. What connection is here between them is powerful and unstable and he'sβ€” okay with that. It burns, but not painful. He... seeks it, this stimulation, this direct flow from someone else into himself, where he has been so numb and so alone for so long.

He feels so alive.

But she's shirking from him for a moment, pulling back; she's tired, and he does know, through Peter, that the witch-girl has been ill. He doesn't quite understand that he must be especially gentle with her, however; he still has very little control over his own mental voice here. It causes a certain curiosity to perk its head in him, but he falls silent when she uses his name, immediately halting. She says his name. That is power, and he will respect it. He waits awhile before answering, and when he does, it's: ]


Careful. Please.

[ He repeats the words β€” not as an instruction to her, but simply as an.... imitation of the words themselves. He even very subtly imitates the tone of Luna's mental-voice. Sounding them out. Careful please. He does grow quieter, but mostly because he's still imitating what she does, how she feels. The softness she's displaying now, the careful way she gingerly reaches back out for him. He flutters a bit more gentle when she does. He doesn't explicitly remember what curses are, not yet, and yet deep-down he understands. Those run as ancient as him, too, but he knows, somehow, that they aren't involved with him. ]

Not curse.

[ ...The question, though. 'What do you want?' He understands what she's asking, but not how to answer. What...does he want? Does he want anything? Has he ever? His memory is still filled with empty spots and mixed-up places, and for a moment he thinks what he wants is Mom and he doesn't understand why. Something in him aches, and then at once he becomes afraid.

The question β€” the implication of it β€” frightens him. It's the unknown. He doesn't know.

Mere seconds ago, he became more gentle as she had, and yet all of a sudden he isn't anymore. Undulating, constantly shifting like waves, Paimon changes again β€” quickly. He shudders terribly sharp, and in his sleep, Peter frets again, fingers curling into bedsheets. The demon is a second heartbeat, pounding too hard, too cutting. It hurts; the boy, still asleep, frowns as that ache leaks from him. ]


I want you. Talking to. I want you to hold. Hold again? Me? You hold me. It was nice. This is nice.

[ He knows "nice" because of Peter. He's said it before, often, about things Luna has done, and Paimon's slowly picked up on the usage. Garbled, confused, the demon reels out the words, the only thing he can make sense of in the moment: an immediate, simple want, which is Luna's hands to hold him the way they once had those months ago, palms to his face, soothing him down where he'd been so fitful and upset in Peter. She'd comforted him. No one ever has. He's never been capable of being comforted that way. ]

Hold again. I want you to.

[ He just.. repeats it like he's stuck on a loop, and Peter is giving whimpers now, the sounds soft but progressively rising as he shifts uncomfortably, pained, in his sleep. ]
possessum: (πŸŽπŸ’πŸ‘)

[personal profile] possessum 2020-04-14 07:14 pm (UTC)(link)
[ "Careful please" isn't forgotten β€” but in the moment, Paimon's too saturated with feeling, with energy, with fright and excitability all tangled into one unbearable pulsing presence. It's too much. He's too much; this is wrong, and he can't handle what he is, doesn't know how to handle it. Only she can help him β€” but she isn't here, she's somewhere far away, and he feels terribly alone, and overwhelmed in himself. He aches, and Peter aches, and the feedback from one another is a confused, nightmarish loop; untilβ€”

'It was you. I comforted you.'

The demon draws in a slow, long sound, a sort of rattling, like a breath. Yes... Yes. She had. She had comforted him; that's what he was trying to convey. It was nice. She remembers, and she's putting it into a more capable form now, using words he's not able to, recollecting those experiences for him. Paimon's still making that odd reedy sound, like strained breathing, hanging desperately onto her words, for what they mean: 'I saw you.' Yes. Yes.

He rocks mentally, remembering, gleeful to be remembered and seen, those feelings echoing back to her. It changes the shape of his fright, softens the edges of it immediately, allows him to focus on her again, and at once he realises, feels, that she'sβ€” upset. Worried, aching with it.

She's pleading with him. Toβ€” stop hurting Peter, and the name flickers unpleasantly through him, sending him shuddering again, but through that displeasure is a worse one. He doesn't want to upset Luna, to hurt her. She says please don't and he freezes again, trying to understand how he can give her what she's pleading from him.

Peter. He'sβ€” hurting Peter. He feels that now, feels the clenched ache of muscle and nerves, feels Peter whimper softly in his sleep; it's too much for him. Hurting the host has been necessary to keep him weak and soft enough inside, but now isn't one of those necessary times. This is different than "careful please". This is a direct plea. 'Please don't.'

Paimon doesn't know how to detach himself from the boy enough to stop hurting him. They're intertwined; the surges of his emotions and feelings run through Peter like electricity. He can't detach from him. So he does the opposite β€” seeping in deeper, retreating into the depths of his young vessel, somewhere away from those raw nerves and aches. Peter stops fretting, slender fingers gently loosening their subconscious grip in sheets, but now the demon's gone from Luna, the connection between them fading as he fades into Peter. It happens quickly, everything lapsing into sudden silence, save for Peter's soft breathing.

At once, Paimon's exhausted, fluttering only very softly before the last piece of him fades unceremoniously into quiet safety for all three of them. He softly mourns the loss of Luna's gentle presence in here with him, so suddenly after finally getting to speak with her, but he gives this comfort to her as she's asked for it β€” and that in turn makes him feel a sort of contentedness that runs to the root of him, even a sort of happiness. He will speak with her again. For now, she must be at peace. ]