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the arms of the ocean are carrying me
the arms of the ocean delivered me
[ text | voice | omen | action ]
the arms of the ocean are carrying me
the arms of the ocean delivered me
[ text | voice | omen | action ]
the arms of the ocean are carrying me
the arms of the ocean delivered me
[ text | voice | omen | action ]
no subject
And clearly catches her off-guard: there Luna goes down to the floor in a tangled mix, and he's just as startled. Eyes widening further as she manages to extract her legs from where they were somewhat curled against Peter's, the demon quickly gets up into a crouch on the sofa and leans forwards, peering down at her. With Paimon, reading any sort of emotion or emotion-adjacent is often.... difficult, but there's a clear worry in the way he's staring down at her now.
'Paimon—?'
The sound of his name is a familiar fluttering, a buzz in his spirit, and his eyes brighten up from it; he reaches down for her, hands extended as though to help her up. All the while crouched on the sofa with a perfect balance that isn't Very Peter — isn't Very Human at all. )
I am here, my witch. ( He confirms for her. ) Are you all right? I did not mean to startle you.
( It certainly sounds like him, but..... there's something different, too. His voice is the same, but the words come so much easier: not slowed and methodically chosen like usual, but almost easy, conversational. )
gently hits this back
... Did she do this? Is this her doing? She's noticed Peter's been less anxious in his recovery, there's something different about him. But was there something else in removing the Corruption from him that's helped Paimon too? Maybe this is her doing. As if maybe she's settled to two of them. ]
... It is you. [ Gingerly, she reaches for his offered hands and pulls herself back onto her feet, careful not to put too much strain on her bandaged hands. It is Paimon. There's concern there for her, the kind of care whoever he had become last month didn't have. There's a sudden wash of a new wave of relief. Relieved that it's him; she finds herself very glad that she has him back too.
There's a little huff of breath, a soft sound exhaled with it and she smiles tearfully with that comforting knowledge. She missed Peter, but she's... actually missed having Paimon around as well. This is the demon she knows, the one who knows her — the one who's been through so much with her. And with that, she leans forward to reach for him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders to pull him into a hug. She's quite for a little while, just gently holding onto him. She's missed him. ]
I'm very glad to see you again. I thought I lost you, too.
ok but I also have to, bc I'm crying.....
His own grasp softens as he helps her up, taking Luna in with a fresh wave of concern. Paimon's own memories are... strange. So much has happened, and it's a convoluted blend of time and events in him. The only solid memory he really has from December is the prophecy she'd given at the start of the month, that display of some new power within her. That memory was so intense, so important and strong, that it's stuck within the demon. But it wasn't long after that.... Corruption was starting to really take hold in Peter, and though it was a progression that grew worse over time, Paimon was already being affected from the beginning.
By now, he can understand Luna's energy in deeper ways: that what's coming from her is "positive" at its most simple form, and "relief" at its more complex one. He can feel this, and maybe even see some of it in her face, able to better understand the nuances to emotional responses now. The demon's quietly stunned for a moment, just staring at her until she's leaning forward to wrap her arms around him.
It isn't the first time the witch has embraced him, but it's been quite some time since then. He hasn't ever forgotten: it was a gratitude that led to the embrace back then, an expression of thanks to him for vowing to protect Peter. Something a little trembling, a little wary; she'd been nervous of him after what he'd done.
This is... different. She's glad to see him — she says it directly — and Paimon's eyes widen even further as he understands the gesture is outright affection. And where last time he had only stood there, an unmoving body for her to hold onto for however long she liked, this time.... he slowly moves his arms to embrace her in return.
It's a little awkward — an alien thing imitating the gesture of affection he's felt through Peter but never expressed himself, perhaps not even in any of his pasts; such gestures simply aren't meant for his kind. He's confused on how tightly he should hold onto her, but then settles for something very soft, careful with her. )
I am very glad to see you, also. I do not remember much before, but.... I know that you healed us.
( Things he's learned through Peter being informed of them afterwards. She'd done it, sacrificed of her own blood. There was a poison deep in Peter, but it's gone now. It's the demon's turn to feel a swell of gratitude for Luna, one that makes his voice sound a little more emotional than it usually could, warmed. )
Thank you. It is because of your efforts that we are not lost. ....Because of you.
not me crying bc THEY HUG ;o;
And then a 'thank you'; he's grateful for what she's done, too. Luna's eyes flutter for a moment, lips pursing and she nods her head a little. It's still oddly kind of nice, this, even though it's a little awkward. Especially considering last month. She doesn't mind this, she'll happily accept awkward hugs. She really is quite relieved this is her Paimon. ]
I just... couldn't let either of you disappear. [ And let whoever it was stay. Even if he was more Paimon than anything else. Luna does understand that Peter might disappear completely one day, and she doesn't quite know how that might be, how Paimon might be without Peter alongside him. The Waste might have been a hint of that, perhaps. How he'd apologised to her for the fact the Peter of his time was gone. But this? It... didn't seem right, to her. This was something far more darker. ]
I'm sorry it took me so long to work out what to do. [ She knows it isn't her fault, not really. Not when she was dealing with her own issues with Corruption and it took Ange to talk her down so she could see clearly enough to try and work out something to do.
But it felt... frighteningly too close to not being able to do anything at all. Her interactions with whatever he'd become had... not entirely been pleasant, even if he'd hadn't been outwardly antagonistic. She'd been listened to, obeyed. But nothing more. Even she'd had to deal with odd hissing fits in her direction. Luna's... really trying not to dwell on it so much. It's been dealt with now, this should be a happier time, even if Paimon's kind of surprised her this evening. ]
You sound different. [ Speaking of: she has to ask. She pulls away from him then, although doesn't quite part completely. Her hands rest on his shoulders, head tipping one way to look at him curiously. ] Are you... alright?
no subject
By extension, it means she protects Paimon, too. He's essentially fully accepted that he and Peter share this body now; he no longer has any desire at all to be rid of the boy's spirit, even outside of what was agreed upon in his Pact with Luna. The three of them have formed a sort of system — though Peter may never be thrilled about housing him.... — but it works because all three of them are here. If Peter were to leave, the witch would be.... devastated. It would ruin her, Paimon knows. They need Peter to stay.
But hearing that she was trying to keep Paimon, too... That she couldn't let either of them disappear... Perhaps he wasn't expecting to hear that. It stuns him again, quietly. He knows the affection she has for his vessel is different from what she feels towards him. But it makes him think to what he'd discussed with Ange — the Golden Witch — that time he'd first met her. She'd said she was... friends with her demons, and though the concept is still strange to him, to be friends with.... anyone, something in him is... pleased by the idea. That his witch missed him. Cares for him. Tried to prevent losing him, too. )
You did very well. As well as you could possibly have done. ( He may not have been present for what transpired — not in a form he can explicitly remember — but he knows that much to be true. Paimon trusts Luna more than he trusts anyone, has an unrelenting belief in her strength, and he praises her with a sincerity now, a reassurance. And a pride in her; what she'd done was... no small feat. )
I am very well, do not be worried. ( He further tries to reassure her as she pulls back enough to look at him, wide eyes fixed right on her. After a moment, he looks down to the sofa and slowly moves to sit back down there, gently coaxing her to sit, too. He knows she must be tired. ) I feel... very much at peace. Your mate and I are at peace.
( .....Calling Peter her "mate" is probably so much worse than calling him "vessel", but he still kind of thinks the word pleases her. A recognition of his vessel's own bond with his witch. )
But you.... your hands... ( The demon gazes down at the bandages, features tightening slightly. )
You are still wrapped in coverings. Your injuries must have been severe. Are you hurting?
no subject
She knows Paimon doesn't exactly have the best opinion of Peter, even if he sworn to protect him too. But he recognises what she's done — the benefit of it for both of them, to keep them both in that balance together and he praises her for it. There's no mistaking the pride in her from him, and it gently warms her. She nods, appreciates it: You did very well. As well as you could possibly have done. ]
You're just... you're speaking well. [ Slowly she moves to sit beside him, still looking at him with curiosity. They're at peace, he says. And it confirms what she's noticed about Peter in the last few days — how he's been coping with the recovery. ] I've noticed Peter's been... less anxious, too. Do you think it's because of what I did?
[ But Merlin, she needs to... really try get him to come up with something better than her 'mate' to refer to Peter. There's a polite smile, but... hm, ...yes. It's a little... odd. But it is good he's recognising the fact that her relationship with Peter is important to her! ]
Ah, well. Um, a bit. [ Certainly it's been a bit difficult with the day to day, she can't grip as well, or needs to be careful with what she does. ] The cuts were quite deep but that's— I asked that of you.
[ She understands she'd be coming out of the ritual injured, that just comes with the territory of doing something like a blood ritual. The cuts needed to be deep, to make sure the blood would be enough for Moon Presence. She needed to offer an amount that wouldn't seem insulting; Moon Presence is still a powerful being even if she does feel a kind of kinship to her.
And really, she'd gladly offer the blood if it meant fixing what was wrong — it felt like a small price to pay. Luna inhales softly, offering him a reassuring smile. ]
I knew what I had to do. And I had a little Essence of Dittany left to help start the healing, they're much better than they could be. [ A pause. ] I'm alright. It just needs time, is all.
no subject
I believe it must be. When you cleared the toxin, the.... Corruption, as they call it? It must have helped our energy, our..... selves. Physical, mental...
( He doesn't know about the overarching blood effects going on this month, but it's evident that he and Peter are both doing much better now, that things feel better in comparison to even before the Corruption happened. His host's energy is less anxious, like she says, noticeably relaxed and comfortable. ....Coming from a demon's perspective, Peter's much more pleasant to live in these days, really.
His gratitude towards Luna is warming in him again; she's done so much for them. And she'd clearly spilled.... a lot of blood. The demon certainly understands the importance of such a sacrifice, the power behind it. His spirit prickles at the very thought, eyes shimmering quietly for a few moments as he gazes down at the wounds.
....But there is a concern for her too, for the physical injury. It's an odd awareness to have: to be in awe of Luna's sacrifice and yet worried about her state afterwards. But that's... part of it, really. His bond with his witch is a lasting thing, and he's meant to take good care of her. He wouldn't want her harmed very much, and though it was necessary for the ritual she'd undergone with such a powerful being, he's..... feeling a bit fretful about it, really. )
We will help you heal, and we will take care of you, now. ( He promises, very solemnly, eyes lifting to meet Luna's and just stare again with that same intensity as before. 'We' because it's him and Peter, and for all of their struggle still with one another, that is something they can agree on. Luna's done more than enough; though neither of them can remember the past month, they both know she'd suffered for it. )
As such, I will return your slumbering mate to you shortly. But I do need to discuss something with you. ( It's something he hasn't gotten a chance to touch base with her about; things went downhill so fast, but it's of a great deal of importance. Still, the demon is mindful of that fresh vow to take good care of his witch, and so before he launches into it... he has to ask something first. He's learned that humans seem to enjoy tea when having serious conversations.
He's still staring at Luna very intently, very serious, as he asks.... )
May I make some tea for you, first?
( ...Oh no. )
no subject
They just... need to try and work to stop this from happening again. Luna doesn't even know how it quickly got so out of hand. It was if Peter simply slipped away from her without her realising. There was nothing out of the usual for him, nothing outside of his normal spells that come from demonic possession and then — well, what he turned into.
But Paimon's not considering that, and she blinks with quiet surprise. We will help you heal, and we will take care of you, now. She wasn't the one who needed a blood ritual, they were. She might have had her own Corruption to deal with, but they were in a far worse state that she was. But the demon's telling her that she's the one who'll be looked after now — not just by one or the other, but both. And it's another thing that gently stuns her: they agree on something.
Luna utters a soft breath, head dipping to one side. There's a little swell of pride within her, a small smile at her lips. And while she doesn't say anything, she carefully reaches up with one hand to gently cup his cheek. It's a brief gesture, a single stroke of her thumb in both thanks and pride of him. ]
Oh, alright. We can do that. [ She's not entirely sure what it is he needs to talk about. But it's been a good while since they've even had a chance to. She pulls her hand away and straightens up, ready to hear whatever it is he wants to talk about with her.
But the question isn't what she's been expecting; she's quite ready for Paimon to dive straight into things but instead he's... offering to make her... tea. She sits wide-eyed, a little taken aback for a moment. But it's actually quite a kind offer? ]
... Oh. That— that would be quite nice. [ Luna, no. ] But— please be careful with the stove when you're heating the water, alright?
[ Can we have no injuries during this tea-making, please. ]
here's some nice 𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐞𝐚 for you
I will be careful. ( He promises, slowly moving to stand up. ) Wait here, my witch.... Rest your body for a moment. I shall return.
( It's said very solemnly, as though he's about to embark on an important quest... and with that, the demon moves to the kitchen, a quiet presence against the wooden floors.
This is, of course, his first time making tea..... but he's watched Luna do it before, always the quiet observer. So he's very carefully turning on the stove and setting the water to boil, imitating what he's seen his witch do. He is very good at following steps if he knows what's meant to happen next, and his time at the bakery has given him some added experience with that, too. He's also very meticulous when it comes to arranging things, setting what he'll need neatly down on the counter — cup, spoon, milk, sugar, whatever it is that Luna's used for her tea in the past.
The heating process is made considerably shorter by the fact he ends up holding his hand over the water to finish boiling it faster — pyrokinetic powers can be used for things other then destruction! — and is sure to turn the stove off before he begins to actually prepare the tea. When he gets to the point he's pouring the water over the teabag the way he's seen Luna do, his eyes are wide and intense, focused. This is extremely important. It must be made exactly to suit his witch's tastes.
.....Now. The thing is. While he's observed just how much sweetening Luna may prefer for her tea (and it's certainly not as much as he's about to put in), Paimon knows his witch has a tremendous sweet tooth, and his way of thinking is along the lines that the sweeter it is, the more meaningful the gesture will be. He doesn't quite understand that it doesn't work that way when it comes to human tastebuds.
Which is to say that Paimon ends up putting an obscene amount of sugar in. Is it around 15 spoonfuls or so? Yes. Yes, it is.
And after stirring it delicately with the spoon... he's finished with his task. Fingers wrapped carefully around the hot mug, the demon returns to Luna, reaching to slowly hand her the tea. )
I have made it to your liking....
( RIP, Luna. )
yaaaay.....
It's... a nice gesture. Being made tea. Luna smiles kindly, nodding as he gets up to head out the room. She sits quietly, hands pressed between her knees — listening intently for the sounds of him moving about in the kitchen. It's not that she doesn't trust him with the task, but she's listening just in case things might go awry. Certainly he's watched her do something like making tea plenty of times, but he's... never actually done it himself. And it is something involving the stove, after all. He did say he'd be careful, but... well — accidents happen, don't they?
He returns quicker than she thought he'd take, surprise passing over her face as she takes the mug from him with a soft thank you. It looks pretty much like tea, and everything seems to have gone smoothly. Until... she brings the mug to her lips. Immediately, she realises there's something... a little bit wrong. A mix of sickening levels of sweetness of the liquid but the very noticeable grainy texture to it. Luna startles slightly, makes a soft little sound as she pulls the mug away from her lips. There's a moment where she sits, mouthful of tea, not sure what to do. Spitting it out is not an answer, that would be rude.
So she... gently tries to just... force the mouthful down — doing her best not to wince at the sweetness. She does enjoy her sugar in tea, but this is.... Merlin. ]
... Paimon, did you count how many sugars you put in this? [ She twists the mug, tries to turn the liquid. It... looks a little sludgy. Maybe she can stir it a little bit? Try to get rid of some of the sugar that way?
Her right hand shifts over the top of the mug, barely an inch or two off the surface of the liquid within it. With a couple moments of intense concentration to get things going, she starts drawing tiny circles in the air above the tea — a slow, gentle stirring motion. After a few seconds, the liquid begins to swirl in the mug; a tiny vortex churning away. Hopefully that will help. ]
It's... it's a very kind gesture thank you. [ She clears her throat, politely holding onto the mug with one hand as she continues to stir the tea with the little wandless spell. ]
What was it that you wanted to speak to me about?
no subject
I did not count, but rather felt what was right. I would not place restrictions on it.... not for your tastes.
( Which is perhaps the most horrifying answer he could give, despite the fact he thinks it's the best one. He's sitting up attentively, hands folded politely into his lap again. Then he's watching Luna use magic to stir the tea, transfixed by that for a long moment, dark eyes slowly following the motions of her finger, around and around. )
I am pleased it has your favour, ( he hums, eyes sparkling. He.... fully thinks Luna approves of this special tea. He's very proud.... but he's soon enough sobering again at the question. He knows this will be a subject his witch will meet with concern, and he tries to approach it as safely as possible. )
Before I tell you, know that there is no danger. I have protected my vessel for you; he is unharmed. In fact, he does not know this happened.
....Maul approached us. With the... stone. The stone that communicates. ( ...The Omni. ) He wanted to speak with both of us, but I made my vessel go to sleep. I did not think he would be able to... handle it. So I spoke to Maul myself.
He told me that he had been made aware he was cruel to my vessel, in the ways his master was once cruel to him. He told me that he now wishes to extend his protection to my vessel instead of target him.
( As the demon speaks, he places a palm against his own chest, as though in gesture of Peter. He can feel him, sleeping, very much at peace the way he always is when he falls asleep beside Luna. )
What do you think of it, witch...?
no subject
[ Definitely something she'll need to explain another time, there's something else he wants to speak to her about. She's still very much touched by the gesture, it's very nice of him to make her tea. But... yes, important things. Ahem.
There's a pause at the mention of there being no danger, a curious look his way for a long moment. Of course it's comforting to know that whatever this is about, Peter is safe. He's alright. But even with that there's a little bit of worry because she really doesn't know where this is going. Is it something to do with last month? Something else? And then he comes out with it—
Luna doesn't even bother to hide her displeasure at Maul's name being mentioned, her expression shifting from a gentle apprehension of where exactly this is going to a cold, flat look. Maul is the last person she'd like to talk about, in all honesty. She knows there's been some degree of progress with him, considering Varian and Usagi's post to the network a couple of months ago — although she's not heard much about all of that since.
But she's willing to hear Paimon out on what he has to say. She's not going to immediately stop such a conversation just because of her own personal distaste of the man. He needs to be given the benefit of the doubt in order to try and better himself. And it would be quite insulting to not even hear the demon out on whatever this is.
She slumps back in her seat, still quite displeased about it regardless, just trying to concentrate on her stirring spell. But she listens, her brow furrowing slightly. Maul's offering a kind of peace to Peter. Well, even that she finds hard to believe. Maul is a contradictory man; he doesn't believe in peace, thinks it's a lie. He's told her that himself. And yet here he is offering it. He seems to make his own rules about how he lives, and it's honestly frustrating just trying to figure him out. ]
I've heard things about his master, back home. Maul has not been treated kindly by him.[ She offers it quietly. Luna does feel pity for Maul in that respect; his life has not been kind to him. But perhaps he understands it wrong, and thinks his own actions to Peter are wrong with that. She hums thoughtfully. Paimon wants to know what she thinks of it all; she realises: he wants her advice. ]
If you want my honest thoughts— [ Which she suspect he does; of course she'll be honest with him. ] I don't trust Maul. He's someone who's lived his life seeing things as problems to destroy or things to gain for his benefit. And that's a way of life that is very difficult to come out of.
The path that John, Willow and I set him on with our curse is to try and help him with that — but it's not something that's going to happen quickly. [ Change doesn't happen overnight. It's not even been a full year since they cursed him. What a man learns over decades isn't undone so quickly. ] And because of that, I don't trust him yet. But... I do recognise that he seems to be making steps towards progress in bettering himself.
[ Offering protection to Peter is.... huge. And really, the thought of not having Peter actively targeted by Maul is really something she wants. ]
Maul offering Peter protection is... it sounds like progress, a good thing. But if you're asking me about you continuing to speak to him, and to have a relationship with him — that's your decision to make. I can't decide this for you. [ Whether Paimon wishes to have anything to do with Maul is something he has to choose for himself. Paimon is his own being; he can make his own decisions. Luna had already told him once that she wasn't going to ban him from interacting with Maul, she has far too much respect for Paimon to do that. ]
I just... I want you to be careful. [ She looks at him then, stopping her stirring spell. She's still worried; Maul is... unpredictable. And who knows what he true motives are. But she's fearful he might try to bend Paimon to his own will, back into something violent. She's willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, but the Sith Lord doesn't have the best track record.]
I don't want you being manipulated into something you're not, or used. I'm scared that might happen again.
Paimon: 👉👈
I shall learn more about it.... I shall experiment until The Tea is perfected. ( Maybe Peter can be used as a tea tester....
Paimon doesn't miss a beat as to Luna's reaction about Maul. The way her face shifts, cools the way it does. He fully understands why, and he isn't here to try and convince her of anything; he's genuinely only here to ask her thoughts and opinions. Paimon won't make any important decisions regarding Peter's safety without talking to her, first. So the demon watches her carefully, listens to everything she's saying. His expression remains neutral as he listens, attentive and focused, but then Luna says what she does next, and something visibly changes in the demon.
'I want you to be careful. I don't want you being manipulated into something you're not, or used. I'm scared that might happen again.'
He blinks, that wide-eyed stare broken by the gesture. His mouth opens with a soft exhale; he's clearly surprised. Like when she'd hugged him moments earlier, but he finds himself taken aback all over again. Of course he knows his witch has care for him, that he's her responsibility in a sense. But even if their bond had initially been forged from necessity on her part, she'd always taken care with him. She's never been cruel to him. Never treated him as something to be used. Like she says — 'That's your decision to make. I can't decide this for you.' — she's always allowed him to make his own choices, to have control of himself. She's guided and commanded him, but never... taken advantage of that power.
It's something Paimon's only recently really been capable of understanding; he's still struggled with it for a long time. But after the incident with Maul back in Deerington, he began to see it a bit more clearly. How... being used works. Being manipulated. How he was so easily turned into something violent and raw, something that hurt others. Hurt her. Now he knows that Peter isn't the only one in danger of being broken; Paimon has his own scarred, carved-out places, too. Places where something could dig in and ruin him.
Of course Luna would worry about it, especially after their recent Corruption. If he becomes like that again..... dangerous to her, to others. But... the fact she says "something you're not" — as though she fully knows he's not meant to be that way. Something to that concept strikes Paimon in a way he's currently able to truly see and process. She doesn't think he's something dangerous up underneath, doesn't think that's his natural state. And it feels like some expression of trust, of care, some deeper level of it. )
I.... do not want that, either. ( He says, very quietly. ) And I never wish to hurt you, again. I know Maul is capable of making that happen again if he ever chose to....that he has such abilities. But I would not allow it. I would protect myself so that I do not become used. And so that I never again harm you.
( He looks down at his fingers for a moment, slowly fiddling with them in his lap. He's.... feeling a little shy....? His ears are a bit tingly and warm at the tips, like how Peter gets sometimes. But he continues, capable of being more eloquent than he usually ever is and fueled by that warmth inside for her, wanting to tell Luna more of how he feels. )
You are my witch. My best. You are very kind to me, and.....I wish to be with you always.
( His ears are feeling really... strange, now. Paimon blinks again, and slowly lifts his hands to lightly cup them for a moment, looking up at her. He's a bit startled by the reaction, something that's quite... human. )
......My body... ( His voice drops, almost to a whisper. ) My ears are buzzing.
he got the demon dokidokis (also this was unnecessarily long)
It's been a complicated thing, this bond. It was done out of necessity, the need and want to keep Peter, to stop him being forced out or away from his own body. It was a love for Peter that pushed her to offer the bond with Paimon. It wasn't something she went into completely gladly, though. Of course she was glad to help Peter, but she's a teenager who comes from a world where demon possibly don't even exist, tying herself to a powerful demon of another world when she barely knew what do even do with that.
And it's been a struggle, trying to learn how to carry the weight of it. Learning how to navigate a relationship with the demon, trying to work out together how best to help the demon feel balance, some kind of peace with himself as he exists so brokenly with Peter. It's never been easy, though there has been pleasant moments. And sometimes even Luna has to admit to herself that she's felt out of her depth with it all.
But she has, over time, come to be protective of Paimon. He's a being in his own right, despite the less than straight-forward existence he has. Even if he isn't what he's supposed to be, he is something more than she, something beyond humans — a force that should be respected and treated with dignity. She understands he's been bent to the wills of others before her, twisted into something violent and malicious when it's not been something she's ever read in any of her research. He's been used incorrectly; she has sympathy for him.
And with that, a determination to not let him be used like that again. She does care for him, too. Their relationship might be something widely different to the one she has with Peter, but there's still a care for him. In some ways he's fragile, too. There's a want to protect him from others who don't have his best interests at heart, but to also try her best to let him be his own being. She might be here to keep him tethered, but she's not here to smother him. He's not a child; she has to trust him to make his own choices. ]
I know you've been very sorry about what happened. [ What happened back in Deerington was awful, and she knows how much he's regretful of what happened, of what he did to her. ] I do believe you when you say that, that you don't want it to ever happen again.
[ But the matter of him trying to protective himself is... difficult. She is more worried about the fact Maul may try to use Paimon somehow, and she doesn't want that. Luna's quiet for a few moments, her expression shifting to a quiet thoughtfulness as she wonders how best to advise him. ]
Consider carefully anything he asks of you. You're under no obligation to do anything and everything Maul says. [ Maul is no witch or mage, even if he does have this ability of his with this Force. ] If you ever feel doubt, please ask for help. If he tries to make you feel bad, feel guilt, or shame for not immediately doing as he asks — you are allowed to walk away.
[ Maul doing something by force is... also worrisome. But would Maul really try the same thing again? Or would he be cautious of her doing something else along the lines of his current curse? Luna doesn't know.
There's a little pause when he speaks again: You are my witch. My best. You are very kind to me, and.....I wish to be with you always. It's... actually quite sweet, in a way? Luna's oddly touched by the statement. Paimon's complimented her before, but there's something in this that gives her a quiet sense of tender gratitude. She does try her best, tries the best she can. There's a little smile at her lips when she speaks: ]
I do promise I'll always do my best for you. To always try to give you purpose and help you in whatever way I can. You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.
[ A look of curiosity appears in her eyes as he stops and slowly reaches to cup his ears — something's happening but she's not quite sure what. Until Paimon whispers to her in his stunned uncertain. She blinks, quite surprised. His... ears are buzzing...? Luna frowns, reaching up to gently move one hand away and touch his ear. They looks a little darkened in colour, feel warm to the touch and Luna pulls her hand away with widening eyes: oh. ]
... Peter sometimes.... does that. [ Mostly when he's around her, when he's shy or bashful. Although it leaves her reeling for a moment as to why Paimon's the one who's doing it. Especially something as human as that. She knows the demon thinks so highly of her, but this has... certainly never happened before. ]
It's a... normal bodily reaction to things, though.
"unnecessarily long" is the only mood, here comes the Demon Introspection
She knows. He doesn't even have to say it — and, usually, would be struggling very hard to say any of this. Right now, with this clear mind and state, he's able to convey it very well, but... she already knows. And again, it clarifies his degree of trust with and from his witch. Paimon is somber, quietly awed by all of it. His bond with her has become something so precious in new forms. Initially, it was precious in a practical way — she tethered herself to him for Peter's sake, and Paimon wanted her tethered because she was a witch, something very important to his existence.
But over time.... yes, he has formed a different sort of bond with the girl. He enjoys her. As someone to learn from and someone to care for him, but also as someone to spend time with. He enjoys her company, her energy; he's at ease when she's nearby, and misses her when she isn't. He wants to please her, not only for those practical reasons — give and take, exchange — but also because he truly does care about Luna. Perhaps this is part of how he's meant to be with his most intimate summoners. It's a businesslike thing, but it's also something deeper, spiritual. He's meant to take care of her as much in return.
And their relationship has been made even deeper due to his existence within Peter. Because of that, Paimon's able to live in the same household as Luna, to be a part of her daily existence, to touch and be touched by her in a corporeal way. If he wasn't trapped in a vessel, he wouldn't be able to do those things. But he is, and he... likes it. He wants to stay, as unnatural as that concept might be to what he truly is. But he feels.... happy here, with her. He's glad he's able to tell her that he wants to stay with her for always.
Maul is certainly a complicated matter, and he's continuing to listen about that, giving severe nods to show he understands. 'You are allowed to walk away'; hearing it stated so explicitly makes him think deeply about it. It's true that he's relied on Maul as a sort of Master, despite knowing that he isn't. But he'd filled in a certain empty place for Paimon, a certain longing for Lucifer, and perhaps there was a part of the lost demon king who was leaning on that too much, so easily wanting to please him and listen to him. But for all that he could teach and guide him, Maul is not his Master, and he is not a witch or conjurer. He is... a comrade. A companion — something that might even be called a "friend". Paimon could choose to walk away; he does not have to obey Maul.
He still grapples with what it means to be able to choose something. With... how to do it. There isn't much that Paimon's really chosen for himself, though this place has allowed him to begin toeing into that concept. He's able to go visit people he wishes to see, he was able to even choose an employment for himself..........
So it's happening, slowly, but it's still... rather foreign for him. Even working at the Mage's Bakery was the result of wanting to please and assist Lysithea, as well as Luna with her sweet tooth. The things he's chosen have still been meant to please and even serve others.
'I do promise I'll always do my best for you. To always try to give you purpose and help you in whatever way I can. You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.'
Paimon sits there in his wide-eyed quiet, reeling in all of it, that warmed, strangely shy feeling simply growing at her words, feeling the sheer weight of them; his eyes spark with that shimmering sort of glow he often looks to Luna with. Always. They've both used the word always, and he feels the Bond he shares with her in his spirit, something lasting and powerful and safe.
Sometimes, there's a thought. A quiet ghost within him, some phantom whisper brushing like delicate filigree carved into his spirit — Who's gonna take care of me?
The thought never lasts long, because now he knows who will.
The demon looks up to Luna as she touches his ear and clarifies what he'd been thinking; the same thing happens to Peter. That it's a bodily reaction, something that happens to this body, and he knows he has made it happen because he is locked into this body right now.
But— )
I said 'my body', but... that is false. It is not my body. It is only my home. ( He knows that the correct terms are important to use, especially around Luna, and for a moment, he forgot himself with them; he almost seems apologetic towards her for it. Sometimes, it's too easy to get wrapped up in Peter, the warmth of him, his human skin. How it feels to be a human, and to touch and be touched. But the touch does not belong to him. He experiences it through his vessel.
And normally, he'd leave it at that — pure fact, not adding his own opinions or feelings to it. But now....? The demon's mouth opens again, and his words have a a clear melancholy as he looks down to his lap, fingers moving to brush against the material of Peter's lounge pants, soft and comfortable but not his. Nothing of Peter's wardrobe is his. He wears his host's clothes like a guest; always borrowed. )
I do not have a body. The ears buzzing... the clothing.... it is not mine.
( He's come to enjoy what being in a host allows him to do, but there are still parts to the demon that understands what's lacking, and sometimes.... it does make him melancholy. Perhaps he's only recently really able to see that, and perhaps now, freed of certain mental constraints and able to express himself better, it's able to come out the way it does. )
all of the feels....
That's all she can do, and just hope things will be alright. And hopefully she might not have to step in. She does genuinely want the best for him, at the end of the day. Luna perhaps didn't realise how difficult it would be, but she's trying.
Perhaps once she might have been a little more fierce in her insistence that this body isn't his, that it belongs to Peter. She's certainly been like that before, when he was feeding his blood to Lucifer — or how she'd referred to him as a guest, when they'd made their bond. But now—? It seems like so long ago now. Now, Luna doesn't feel any sting of annoyance or defensiveness; it's more the sobering feeling of pity for the demon. The more time she's spent with Paimon, that she's gotten to know him — the more that pity for him has bloomed. She does feel sorry for him, now more than ever — she does care for him.
The fact is, he's in much an unfortunate circumstance as much as Peter is. With how he's been treated by those who came before her, with his placement within a human. Existing in a way that's so strange and unnatural at times, trying to find himself once more. It hasn't been an easy road for any of them.
And with that, with sharing himself with Peter — he doesn't have anything of his own. Well, he does have some things, of course. He has his relationship with her, with others he knows. He does have his own ways in which Luna interacts with him, how she might touch him, things she might involve him with that she wouldn't Peter. These things are his, for him. But still, he shares himself with Peter. Luna inhales quietly in realisation, watching him toy with the fabric of Peter's lounge pants. ]
It would have been easier perhaps if you had a different body, one you could truly call your own. [ She's quietly spoken as she offers it, sad for him. If such a thing would have been possible; if there was a way to have a body of his own that wouldn't involved needing to share it with another. Existing outside of one isn't easy, she's seen that — even if she doesn't think too hard about that brief time they had spent together like that, with him attempting to possess her — a delicate ethereal orb of light and her trying to communicate, not being able to truly experience existence.]
But... then I suppose we would be very different. [ Would they be the same, if Paimon hadn't been in Peter? Granted there might not have been any need to bond with him, considering the circumstances of it. But perhaps she might have still felt pity for him, wanted to help some poor lost creature regardless. Even if they wouldn't be the same as they are now, she's sure of herself that she would have still tried to help Paimon if he existed outside of Peter.
She feels at a loss with that melancholy, and with the gentle melancholy of her own. She can't help him with the fact he can only share his body with Peter, that he can't have his own. Paimon has to remain in Peter. She doesn't like that feeling of helplessness, her brow furrowing for a long moment. But even if she can't help with that, there is perhaps something she could help with. Her head tilts the side for a moment, in thought. ]
... Would it help if you didn't dress like Peter, when you're in control—? [ She remembers back at the Anniversary Ball in Deerington, how he'd been dressed. It had been... very not-Peter. Perhaps something more suited for a demon king: the gold, the soft tinkling sounds as he walked. Shirtlessness aside, he'd been far more comfortable and confident in himself. Proud, even. ] If we when out and bought you some clothes of your own?
[ Maybe... maybe that would help. Something of his own to distinguish himself from Peter. She knows sometimes the shifts between them can come without warning, like now. Or sometimes Paimon takes control when Peter can't manage — it's not always practical for a wardrobe change in those times. But perhaps on the days when he's scheduled to be with her, the days they spend together — that would be a good time he could wear his own clothes instead of Peter's.
A slow smile spreads across her lips, quite pleased with the idea. This might be quite good, actually. It might help him feel better. Trying to do her best to help him, in whatever way she can. She carefully reaches across for his hands, holds them both in her own. ]
Why don't we do that? We can go to Willful Machine and find you some things to wear, things you could pick out for yourself. You could wear them on our days together. [ Admittedly, the idea on going on a little shopping trip sounds quite fun. He might usually come help with the shopping (she adores Peter, but she knows fine well he's a lazy teenage boy who loathes chores most of the time), but going out to do something like this for Paimon is quite exciting. ]
We could get you a nice cloak, like one of mine. And some other things, whatever you like—! [ She might... try and advise him on some things, however. Luna thinks there's... a bit of practicality needed concerning fashion in Trench, despite how lovely the Pleasure citizens look in their bright colours. But she's sure they can compromise. She squeezes his hands gently, still smiling. ] Would you like that?
possibly wrap! ♥
But Trench has offered.... a certain stability. Over time, Paimon really has been able to begin forming some kind of life for himself, here. To desire certain things, to have his own place here. It's... hard. Listening to Luna reflect on it now, what it would have been like if he had his own body, the demon is melancholy in his own reflection of it, gazing down at Peter's hands, the shape of them. )
Yes. If I had my own body.... I could be more.
( He's pretty much accepted that he has to be trapped within a human, and certainly he prefers this to being lost the way he was when Peter died back in Deerington. But if it was a body without a separate spirit, one he didn't have to share with....
....'But... then I suppose we would be very different.'
He looks back up at Luna, dark eyes studying her silently. ...She's right; he can see that, too. He probably wouldn't have his Bond with her, wouldn't live with her like this. Peter is the means through which Paimon was able to form the relationship he does with Luna. )
You are right. We would not be the same.
( He nods quietly, though that melancholy still stays with him. All of it is.... difficult, for all of them. It's a strange existence they all share with one another. Now that he's becoming more aware of what's lacking and actually able to talk about it, it's.... hard. But he pauses at what Luna says next, attentive to the concept she's presenting. If he didn't... dress like Peter, when he was in control.
Finding ways to establish his own identity has been its own journey, and there have been times he and Peter butted heads about it, hard. It's only been very recently that they have their own spaces, thanks to Luna helping him set up a little crafts area, and then the movement to make the attic space his own "room", so to speak. Peter's finally stopped throwing away Paimon's things, and Paimon's stopped having to hide them in shoeboxes under the bed; now he can set them out and arrange them in the attic however he likes. It's helped, immensely.
But when it comes to his appearance.... that is trickier. He has a few items collected over time: his various crowns, a couple of garments that have been given to him by others or by this place itself. But he never wears them, except on rare occasions when he is by himself. When he's out and about, he just.... looks like Peter.
The idea of having his own clothes....? Of shopping for them, with her? The demon's eyes widen as Luna takes his hands, staring at the way she smiles. He's actually a bit at a loss for words now, looking stunned. Whatever he likes, she says. Things he could pick out, garments to adorn himself in. He hasn't forgotten the party from before, the way he'd felt so comfortable with his physical appearance, a rarity. Peter's body is some strange mixture of being better for him than where he was before, but also.... not entirely right, either. But if he could decorate it? With brighter colours, with draping golds and creams, with a cloak like hers, with earrings that dangle and jewelry upon his wrists. With shoes that actually show his feet instead of covering them up in Peter's dingy "Converse"..... With glitter upon his eyelids. (His imagination is already running wild, here. This is... important, for what he is.)
'Would you like that?' )
Yes....! ( Excitement isn't easily expressed, in Paimon. But there's something to the lilt of his tone, to the way his eyes flash, how he abruptly leans in closer to her, nose practically brushing the tip of Luna's. The demon is.... intensely thrilled, energy practically bubbling in a stark contrast from how it was just moments ago. Goodbye, Peter's lounge pants. )
I would like that. I would like to do the shopping with you. And— ( His eyes widen further as he tilts closer, and now his nose does press against hers; he's.... so close.... ) —if I can wear things when my vessel is sleeping. My own things. I would be...... ( The word lingers behind him, something he's not quite accustomed to using in regards to himself. )
...happy.